it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
