Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
