He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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