Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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