the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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