with your own penis?
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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