Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
two words: eviction party
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
