Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
