The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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