Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
