I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
