Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Dear god my vagina.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
