he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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