Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
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