I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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