dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
