i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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