we made out on top of his cat.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
