He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
