Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
