Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
