That's when you crack a 10am beer
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
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