ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
