i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
