Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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