i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
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