literally had 100 drinks last night.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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