Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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