My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
