You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
