I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
