i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize