i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
