I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
