This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
