Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
