Dual....:-)
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Found the puke drawer
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
The Olympian is in my bed
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
