SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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