no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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