Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
