hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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