i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
P.S. I can't hear my feet
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
