The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
