Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
birth control should be required to get into college
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
My penis needs a shock collar
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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