i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
COCAINE IS GR8
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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