piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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