You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
