So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize