I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Randomize
