It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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