Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
