they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize