He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
