you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
