know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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