If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
