I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
