So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
