I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
