It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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