I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
