Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
