i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
